This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW).

I’ve been thinking all week about what to write – after all, I specialise in working with people who are struggling with eating disorders, so I should have something profound and knowledgeable and insightful to say…right?

I’ve been putting myself under quite a lot of pressure that no-one else around me has really been aware of.  It mainly took the form of worrying about what people will think if I don’t post anything, and sacrificing other (probably more important) work to sit and stare at my laptop screen in an attempt to create some kind of brilliantly inspirational thought.

Needless to say, it didn’t work.  So I’ve chosen to write about something much more real instead, because it feels like what I need to be writing about and because it forms the basis of many conversations I’ve had with clients over the last few weeks.

Being in the grip of an eating disorder is f***ing hard.  It’s relentless.  Energy-draining.  It feels like it’s almost impossible to escape.

Working to recover from an eating disorder is f***ing hard.  It’s relentless.  Energy-draining.  It feels like it’s almost impossible to achieve.

Someone who struggles with an alcohol addiction has the choice of staying away from situations involving alcohol.  Someone who is trying to escape an addiction to drugs can choose not to be around places where drugs might be present.

Someone working to recover from an eating disorder cannot avoid food.  They have to face their issue several times a day.

Every.  Single.  Day.

Working to recover from an eating disorder is f***ing hard – no-one said it was going to be easy.

It is possible.

I’ve done it.

So can you.

Sometimes, you’ll slip up.  Sometimes, the eating disorder will be stronger than you are.  You’ll listen to it and do what it says because it’s easier than fighting against it because you’re so damn tired that the thought of one more battle inside your head makes you want to curl up in a ball, go to sleep and never wake up .

That’s ok.

Sometimes, you’ll be so convinced that today is going to be the day.  You feel positive and strong and determined.  And then stumble at the final hurdle and leave some of your meal, or make yourself sick when you’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t.

That’s ok too.

It’s ok because you’ll get up again in the morning and you’ll still be here.  You’ll still be fighting.  You’ll still be hanging on in there because you know that there is more to life than this.  Because you’ve got dreams and hopes and plans for your future that one day you believe you’ll fulfil.

Because you are stronger than you think.

Because you’ve already got what you need inside of you to beat this.

Because you have so much to live for.

So if you’ve slipped up, be gentle with yourself.  You are doing the best you can with what you’ve got, and that is enough.

You are enough.

 

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