Sundays are sacred to us.
Not because we’re religious – we’re not. Sundays are sacred to us because it is the one day a week that all five of us are all together – it’s our family day. Because of this, each week we try and do something different – get out of the house, go somewhere interesting, have some fun.
Last Sunday we came up with a few different ideas for places to go. Sometimes, we offer the options to the girls to choose from, but usually that ends up in an almighty argument because no-one can agree. Instead we told them that we were going on an ‘adventure’. Cue much excitement all round and everyone getting ready to leave in record time (15 minutes and no squabbles instead of the standard minimum of 40 minutes and multiple rounds of “she hit me”, “I hate you”, “I don’t want to go” and “you’re the meanest Mummy in the world ever”).
We’d chosen to visit The Ice Cream Farm near Chester. It looked liked a relatively straightforward route from where we live in Stafford and according to the satnav it would take just over an hour to get there, so we packed snacks and suncream and headed off.
An hour and a half later we turned off the main road into the lanes and wound our way through picturesque little villages. “This doesn’t feel right” announced my husband, doubtfully.
Within minutes we passed a sign that said “Welcome to Wales”.
“Erm… this definitely isn’t right. Are you sure you put the right postcode in the satnav?”
I frantically scrambled for my phone and hunted for the address. “Mummy, are we lost?” piped up a little worried voice from the back. I turned round and three sets of concerned eyes stared back. “I’m hungry” declared another. “And I’m bored” complained the third.
With a sinking feeling I realised that I’d put the postcode in incorrectly. Instead of CH3 I’d entered CH4. Apparently that makes quite a big difference. Apologising profusely to everyone, I reset the satnav and we headed off in the right direction. I turned my face away from my family, stared out of the window unseeingly, and mentally beat myself up for getting it wrong and effectively doubling the length of time the girls had had to spend in the car. Over and over and over the familiar voice in my head berated me. “So stupid, can’t even get that simple thing right, everything you do is wrong, it’s just not good enough, it’s ruined the day, why do you even bother planning fun stuff to do – it never works out”, it hissed maliciously.
My husband glanced over at me, placed his hand on my knee and gave it a squeeze. “Stop it” he said gently, knowing exactly what I was doing internally. “It doesn’t matter”.
(This is one of the many reasons I love him – he knows how my head works almost better than I do).
The sound of giggling brought me back to the present moment and I tuned into the conversation that was going on between the girls in the back.
“I can’t believe we went to Wales!”.
“That was so fun!”.
“It really has been an adventure!”.
I felt a grin reluctantly spread across my face. “It was an adventure wasn’t it?” I joined in.
“It really was Mummy – you said we’d be going on an adventure and we went all the way to Wales!”
With that I felt myself relax a little. I began to laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole situation and resigned myself to the fact that I’m never going to hear the end of it – it’ll be a story that gets told for years to come. (“Remember that time we accidentally went to Wales…”). It’s going to become part of the fabric of our family, a memory that makes up our story of us.
Half an hour later we finally arrived (somewhat triumphantly – everyone did actually cheer as we pulled in to the car park) at our original destination. The Ice Cream Farm was absolutely heaving with people, but the sun was out, we were all together and we made more memories together as the day went on.
We left the farm much later than we’d planned to, which would mean a late tea, skipping bathtime and a delayed bedtime for the girls. Them falling asleep in the car at this time of day was unthinkable, otherwise they wouldn’t go to bed until midnight. So, tired as I was (I’d been up since 5.30am), I tried to think of ways to keep them awake. (We’d already exhausted I-spy and all of the One Direction CDs on the way there).
“What’s been the best part of your day?”
Three sleepy faces looked at me uncomprehendingly. “Come on, what’s been the best part of your day?”
Ella’s eyes lit up. “Going to Wales!” she shouted gleefully.
The other two stirred back to life. “More questions Mummy!”
“Umm… ok. What’s your biggest hope or dream for when you are older?”
“To build a skyscraper!” (Mimi). “To be an author like J.K. Rowling” (Ella). “To be a teacher” (Lola).
“What’s your favourite thing about yourself?”
“That I really enjoy school” (Ella). “That I can look after myself” (Mimi). “That I give good cuddles” (Lola).
We asked and answered questions about each other the whole way home. The journey passed much more quickly, and not just because we didn’t get lost this time. Favourite book and why? Which animal you’d most like to be and why? What superpower you’d like to have and why…? I connected with and learned so much about my little people (and my husband!) that I hadn’t known before.
It was a lovely end to an adventurous day.
I lay in bed that night, feeling tired but wired – my brain buzzing with thoughts. I knew that it had been an important day and I needed to process why. This blog post is part of that process.
I’ve felt very lost for the last six months, questioning many things about myself and the choices I’ve made in my life as well as wondering where to go next from here.
“Getting myself lost, I am so gone, so tell me the way home” Ed Sheeran, ‘One’
Sunday felt like a little bit of a turning point. I learned a lot – most of it stuff I already knew but had forgotten in the midst of the mess I’ve been in since my Dad died.
Out of everything, I think the two most important things that I’ve been reminded of are these:
~ It’s the journey, not the destination, that’s important.
~ Sometimes it takes getting lost to help you find yourself again.
We all feel lost at times, for many reasons. I want you to know that it’s ok. You’ll find your way back to yourself again. It might take a while, but you’ll get there.
If you know anyone who might need to hear those words please feel free to share this post.
Thank you for reading 🙂
Phone: +44 (0) 7794 595783
Email: chloe@openmindhypnotherapy.co.uk
[…] We have favourite summer destinations that we revisit year after year after year, and favourite activities that we do over and over again because the girls love them so much. However, I do try and visit one new place with them each year to keep things fresh (and if we like them enough, they get added into our list of favourites too!). This summer we decided to head to The Ice Cream Farm in Cheshire. It should have been a pretty direct route, but we ended up taking a ‘little’ detour. You can read all about our adventure (and my first ever visit to Wales!) here. […]