I follow a lot of bloggers on Facebook. Some are UK based, some are in America and some are in Australia.  Although they are scattered all over the world, we all have one thing in common:  we are women sharing our stories and being real.  Talking about motherhood, sisterhood, friendship, body image, self esteem, life events and love.  Things we struggle with, things we are passionate about, our hopes and dreams and desires.

I came across this three-minute video via one of those bloggers earlier on today and immediately knew I had to share it too:

I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it.

Which door would you choose?

Which door would I choose?

I’m going to come right out and say it, because being honest and authentic is what I endeavour to do when I write:

If I came across those doors today, I would walk through the ‘Average’ one.

I would want to walk through the ‘Beautiful’ door, but I wouldn’t believe it and therefore would feel like a fraud for doing so, because today I don’t feel beautiful.

I would push my daughters, my friends, my family members, my clients through the ‘Beautiful’ door without hesitation, but I would most definitely go through the other one.

What is that about?

Why can we see beauty in everyone else but ourselves?  It’s something that comes up time and time again – with myself and with my clients.  In fact, with pretty much every woman I know.  We compare and we measure ourselves against other people’s achievements, food choices, parenting styles, outfits, appearances… and in our heads, we always fall short.

I think maybe the problem starts when we begin to believe that being beautiful is a physical thing.  As I’ve grown up through my teens, twenties and now, in my early thirties, I’ve gradually learnt that being beautiful isn’t only something you can see.  It’s also something you can FEEL.  If you feel beautiful, it shines out of you like a light.  If you feel ugly inside, it dulls your innate sparkle.

I said that if I came across those doors today I would choose the ‘average’ door.  That’s because right now I see a mouth with turned-down corners, deepening worry-lines on my forehead, ever-growing dark circles under my eyes and tired skin that is protesting under the strain of the last three months.  I’ve been up since 4.45am (after getting up in the night with my five-year-old), I’ve been to London and back for clients and I’ve dealt with tidying-up and bedtime tantrums.

If I’d watched the video on Sunday, it would have been a different story.  I felt beautiful on Sunday.  I’d been out in the sunshine with my husband and my girls for the afternoon to a local farm.  We spent quality time together, we laughed together, we hugged, we talked, we played.  I felt in flow taking photos, capturing all those moments of happiness.  I relaxed, for what felt like the first time in forever.  If I came across those doors on Sunday, I would have walked through the ‘Beautiful’ door.

It stands to reason then, that feeling beautiful is a choice.

We choose what we see when we look in the mirror – whether we are going to focus on our flaws and imperfections or whether we are going to see all the stuff we like (or maybe even love) about ourselves.

We choose what we feel when we are out in the world – whether we are going to direct our attention on all the bits of ourselves that feel uncomfortable or whether we are going to notice the feeling of the warm sun on our skin and the loosening of our shoulders as we let go of the stresses of the day.

Maybe we all need to mentally walk through the ‘Beautiful’ door every morning.  Imagine what a difference that could make – not just to your day but to who you are.

So now I pass the question on to you… which door would you choose?

 

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