A month and three days ago I said “I do” to the man I have been together with for the last ten years.

I thought that from that moment everything would be different in some way.  I wasn’t sure how – I just figured that something as important as getting married would have a big effect on all aspects of my life.

In truth, it hasn’t.  Not on the outside anyway.  We’ve just carried on exactly as we did before – working (too much), parenting (each supporting the other in the best ways that we can) and going about our lives (in the same way that we always have done).  In fact, we’ve not really seen much of each other these last couple of weeks for one reason or another – his work shifts colliding with my days off, my clients clashing with his downtime, the girls (quite rightfully) demanding attention from us despite the bone-aching tiredness we’ve both been feeling…all of which has left us with nothing much remaining to give to each other. The phrase “ships that pass in the night” comes to mind.

This will all change over the next six weeks as the summer holidays embrace us… and I can’t wait!  I’m deliberately working less, and because the girls are at home instead of at school we’ll be out having fun and exploring new places and spending more time together as a family.  I’ll be posting occasional blogs throughout with updates on the things we’ve got up to and the lessons I’ve learnt along the way (of which I’m sure there will be many!).

Anyway, back to getting married.

All of the changes for me have been internal.  It feels like something has settled inside of me.  An acceptance.  A peace.  A contentment.  It’s hard to explain.  It’s almost like I know now that I’m loved for who I am – because he’s seen me at my absolute worst and stayed the course.  A realisation that I’m ok being me.  Why it took us getting married for me to arrive at this part of my journey I have no idea.  It feels important though, so I’m enjoying it.

I’m also aware that it’s not necessarily a conclusive thing.  We will both continue to change throughout the years to come, and we will have to keep working hard at our marriage to keep it strong and for me to hold that belief steady within myself.  There will be wobbles and challenges and events beyond our control that will undoubtedly jostle themselves into our lives and force us to re-examine where we are and where we’re going.  And do you know what?  That’s ok too.

Someone once said to me that “Being married isn’t something you are…it’s something you do” and it’s really stuck in my mind.  You don’t just get married and that’s it.  You get married and you carry on growing together, imagining and creating and building the life that you want together.  It’s infinite.

And with that big thought, I’ll leave you with a few of my favourite images from our wedding day (because you’ve all been asking for them!)…