A year ago today, my wonderful Nana unexpectedly passed away.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot today.  So much has happened in the last 12 months, and I haven’t been able to tell her about any of it.  Not tangibly anyway.  Even though I didn’t get to see Nana as often as I would have liked to, I made sure to write her regular letters and send her photos of my girls so she could see how quickly they were growing up.  Towards the end, when the Alzheimers had taken over and she didn’t really know who people were any more, my Mum and my aunt told me that she enjoyed listening to them read my letters out loud to her.

The main event since she passed away has been my getting married.   I would have loved for Nana and Grandad to have been there to see me walk down the aisle and say my vows and promises to my now-husband.  I thought about them both a lot that day too.  My Nana and Grandad got married in July 1946, and every year on their anniversary, without fail, Grandad would buy Nana a big bunch of sweet peas as a gift – her favourite flowers.  I made certain that I had sweet peas included in all the bouquets and posies carried by myself and my bridesmaids – my way of having them both there with me.

Nana and Grandad had been married for nearly 64 years when Grandad passed away after a long battle with cancer four years ago.  Sixty-four years!  That’s incredible.  I’m sure they had their ups and downs, but underneath it all they loved each other deeply.

So my thoughts today have been centred around the essence of what made them who they were.  There is an awful lot I don’t know about them, but what I do know is that they were both extremely family-orientated.  Some of my happiest childhood memories are of Easters and Christmases spent at their house – my cousins, aunts and uncles all piled in there too – the whole family together, laughing, talking, playing, eating and smiling.  Their sense of fun stays with me in my memories too – Grandad gently teasing Nana, Nana’s mischievious smile and twinkly eyes.  The easy way they interacted with each other, their rock-solid routines, their never-ending support and guidance, and their words of encouragement and sensible advice.

I’m doing my best to re-create that with my own family.  Of course we have our own values that we add in to the mix, but at the very core centre of it all I just want there to be love and happiness.  I hope I’m succeeding.

It seemed fitting that today I booked a week in Cornwall for me, my husband and my girls – very close to the place where she spent her last few months.

I’m not really sure why I’m writing about this.  It’s not really got anything to do with therapy.  More to do with my path along this journey I’m on.  I guess I just wanted to remind you all that it’s important to keep in touch with those you love, no matter how old or young they are, and no matter if they’ve been there your whole life of if they’ve only recently come into your circle.  There is nothing more important than making it a priority to create those connections and carve out the space in your diary to spend time with them, and really listen when they talk.  Because one day they won’t be here any more and you’ll regret not doing all those things when you had the chance.

I’m going to finish there I think, and leave you all with that thought.  I hope you take action on it.

Oh, and I’ll leave you with a photo too.  This is my favourite picture of Nana and Grandad, taken on their 60th wedding anniversary in 2006, surrounded by cake and champagne, their family celebrating with them.  I think their smiles say it all really 🙂