I’ve probably mentioned in recent blogs that it has been a tough month for me, both personally and professionally.

At the moment my world is filled with ongoing health worries for various family members, a major operation in the pipeline for someone who is incredibly important to me, an old friend committing suicide, suicide attempts from clients, an influx of client enquiries from younger and younger girls struggling with severe eating disorders, behavioural issues with my daughters brought on by both anxiety and general tiredness, plus all the usual stuff that most people have to deal with in life – things like keeping up with the laundry so my girls have clean uniforms for school, making sure I read with them every day and encourage them to do their spellings and homework, staying in touch with my friends and family, doing the food shopping so that we’ve all got relatively healthy things to eat, keeping up with emails, negotiating the ever-tricky combination of three young girls thoughts and feelings and beliefs about themselves, plus creating space for some elusive time with my husband.

I’ve felt… overwhelmed.

Stressed.

I’ve even had the beginnings of a panic attack that I thankfully managed to stop before it fully erupted.

It’s taken it’s toll on my body, which is whispering to me that things aren’t right – I’m not sleeping very well, I’ve got a pretty much permanent excruciating headache, and my skin is demonstrating very clearly that it’s not happy – something that knocks my confidence big-time.

I watched this Ted Talk by Lissa Rankin, and while I already knew most of what she was explaining, it connected a lot of the dots for me and really made me realise that something needs to change.

I’ve spent lots of time thinking about how to fix this.  What could I do to bring everything back into balance?  How could I help myself feel better?

And then I read this post on a blog I follow on Facebook.  Certain phrases leapt out at me from the screen:

Slow down.

Keep things simple.

Sunset moments.

Be where you are.

And suddenly things became clearer.  I’ve been taking on more and more stuff, saying yes to more and more things (partly as a result of the #sayyesmore talk the Dave Cornthwaite gave at Questival a month ago), adding more and more juggling balls to the numerous things I’m already trying to keep up in the air.  It’s an easy mistake to make, and I’m the first one to point it out to clients when I see that that’s what they’re doing.  I usually take them through an exercise where they go through the list of things they are juggling and say whether it is a glass ball or a rubber ball.  If it’s rubber, it’s something they can put down or let bounce for a while.  If it’s glass, it’s a priority for them to focus on.  It helps them recognise that they can let go of some of the less important stuff temporarily (safe in the knowledge that they can pick it up again when they are ready to) and they give themselves permission to focus on the key things that will make a difference to their wellbeing.

Interestingly I try and avoid using the word ‘juggling’ when I refer to myself and all the things I do.  If I’m juggling, there is the possibility I’ll drop things.  I prefer to say ‘balancing’ instead (because even if you stumble, you can usually regain your balance).

One of the things I’ve said yes to recently is photography-related.  I’m not ready to talk about it yet – it’s too new and delicate and I’m not sure where it’s going to take me.  But I know that it feels good.  Really good.  I was having a conversation with the person I said yes to about his business and he was describing what aspects of it he would willingly walk away from if he could, and which he would really like to concentrate on more because he just loves doing it.

I walked away from that conversation with new insight and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Work is getting busier and busier for me – clients and supervision, Stafford and London – which is great.  In the long term though it’s not really sustainable.  Something has to give because I’m starting to make myself ill.

So after a LOT of consideration and to-ing an fro-ing and long, difficult conversations with myself, I’ve made the decision not to take on any more new clients in Stafford.  I’ll continue seeing the clients I already have, for as long as they need to see me.  But I won’t be saying yes to any new enquiries that come my way.  My website will be updated soon to reflect this.

I am however, still continuing to take on new clients in London (there is currently a short waiting list), and I am still taking on new supervisees, because all of my supervision wok is done via telephone and Skype, so location isn’t really an issue.

I need my home to be a home, not a therapy practice.

I need to be able to separate my workspace from my family life.

I want to say yes to the things I want to say yes to, not the things I feel I should say yes to.

I want to slow things down and keep them simple.  I want to create more space and time to dedicate to my husband and my girls, so that we can actually enjoy those sunset moments together and so I can be where I am, in the moment with them, instead of constantly worrying that I’ve forgotten to do something or that I haven’t got enough done today.

Already I feel better.

Just making the decision (and saying it out loud) makes me feel like I can take a breath.

Slow down.

Keep it simple.

Be where you are.

If reading this has made you realise that you’d like to get your life back in balance, whether personally, professionally, or both, please do leave a comment below with your thoughts, or get in touch via phone (07794 595783) or email (chloe@openmindhypnotherapy.co.uk)