Today has been Friday 13th.  For most of us, it was just a regular day and the routine of school, work and home continued uninterrupted.  I’ll be honest from the outset – I’m firmly placed in this group.  For me, Friday the 13th is no different to any other day.

For some of the more superstitious among us it has been a day to beware of unlucky things happening.  Dr Leonard Orr once said “What the thinker thinks, the prover proves”.  It’s something I say to my clients all the time.  The essence of the theory behind this is that if we hold a belief or have a thought about something, our unconscious mind automatically filters the information that we notice in the world around us in order to prove to ourselves that our thought or belief is true.  For example, in the case of Friday the 13th: if you go about your day thinking that something unfortunate might happen, it’s more likely that it will, because your brain will be looking for evidence of negative occurrences.  Even if it’s something that could happen on any day of the week or month – computers not working properly, the bus being late or dropping your phone for example – you’re more likely to apportion the blame to the date on the calendar, even though in reality it has absolutely nothing to do with it.

For a few people however, today has been a day full of very real fear.  Those who struggle with ‘paraskevidekatriaphobia’ (an intense fear of Friday the 13th) believe that it is a day to remain in bed, absolutely convinced that something terrible will happen if they so much as poke a toe out from under the duvet cover.

The good news is that today’s Friday the 13th has just so happened to coincide with an annual event known as Positive Thinking Day.

Positive thinking alone might not be enough to get rid of a phobia (Cognitive Hypnotherapy can be very successful at helping you to do that!), but positive thinking can, quite literally, transform your life.  If you are a regular reader of my blog you may already be aware of my beliefs around the mind/body connection – that our minds and bodies are intricately intertwined, and how changing one can affect the other and vice versa.  Persistent negative thought patterns can have a damaging impact on our health.  Likewise, practising positive thinking can actively improve our wellbeing.

On the surface, thinking positively ‘should’ be a fairly simple thing to do.  It does take practice though, especially if you’ve been a habitual negative thinker up until now.  The great thing is that once you get the hang of it, Orr’s Law works in this direction too: the more you send your thoughts in a positive direction, the more likely you are to notice all the positive things in the world around you, and the more likely you are to make good things come your way.  The more something happens, the more it will.

However, no-one can be 100% positive all of the time.  Even therapists aren’t immune.  I know that when I’m particularly overtired or feeling overwhelmed with too many things to do all at the same time I can start to descend into a negative thought spiral.  Being aware of my triggers is useful, because it means I can do something about it.

I know the day is nearly over (and if you’re reading this blog I guess that means you’ve survived the so-called unluckiest day of the year – hurrah!), but I thought I’d share with you a few tips for how to switch negative thoughts into positive ones:

1.  Watch your language

The words we use (both out loud and in our heads) are so, so important.  Removing negative words like ‘can’t’, ‘should’ and ‘but’ from our vocabulary can make a massive difference to how we think and feel.  Try replacing them with positive ones such as ‘can’, ‘could’ and ‘and’ instead and you might be surprised at how much more positive you start to feel…

2.  Positivity is contagious

Surround yourself with positive people.  People that look on the bright side.  People who know exactly how to help you smile.  People who always see the best in any situation.  People who have a built-in silver lining that sparkles whenever you talk to them.  We become like the people we spend most of our time with.  The more time you spend with positive people, the more positive you will become, and therefore you will be infecting them with positivity in return.  Win-win.

3.  Get out!

Get out of the office, get out of the house, go anywhere that’s different to the place you are when you start thinking negative thoughts – a different environment can often help inspire new ways of thinking that could solve whatever problem or situation it is that you’re thinking negatively about.  Just getting up and moving around can do wonders (exercise releases endorphins), and throwing some fresh air into the mix will literally help to clear your head, improve your thinking and stop you feeling ‘stuck’.

4.  Think opposite

Negative thoughts can be about anything.  As soon as you get a negative thought, try immediately and deliberately counteracting it by thinking the opposite.  It can be quite tough to do.  It can also be really effective.  For example:  “I’m not good enough to do this” could become “I am good enough to do this”.  “I’ll never get all of my work done today” might turn into “I can get all of my work done today”.  “I look terrible because I’ve hardly had any sleep” might change into “I look pretty good considering I’ve hardly had any sleep”.  You get the idea.  Give it a try.

5.  Three Gifts

This might just be the single most powerful thing you can do to help you to start thinking more positively.  It’s a task I ask every single client, regardless of what they come to see me for, to participate in.  Get yourself a little notebook, and at the end of every evening (just before you go to bed) write down three ‘gifts’ from your day.  It can be anything, big or small, as long as it’s something that has made you feel good.  It works because it primes your unconscious to look for the stuff that makes you feel good.  My three from today are: listening to my girls chat and giggle together over breakfast this morning; having long conversations on the phone with three different people that I haven’t spoken to in a while, and my youngest daughter responding to me telling her I love her by throwing her arms round my neck and squealing into my ear “I love you too Mummy!”.

I’d love to hear some of your positive thinking tips, so please feel free to leave them below as a comment.  You never know, you might just be the difference that makes the difference to someone else’s day…