I got home at 9pm last night, after a long and rewarding day of seeing clients at Harley Street.  After dumping my stuff in the hall, getting a glass of water in an attempt to stop feeling sick from the train journey and saying hello to my partner, I spotted a piece of paper on the kitchen table.

This is nothing unusual – along with the usual bowls of fruit and jug of flowers, our kitchen table is also home to a giant tin of coloured pencils and crayons, plus a huge stack of pictures and writings created by my girls.  This particular piece of paper was separate from the rest though, clearly left there deliberately for me to see.  Curious, I picked it up, instantly recognising my eldest daughter’s handwriting.

On it she had written a song.  It goes like this:

“Being Yourself”

Being yourself

Is the most important thing

Don’t try and copy somebody

(Chorus)

Just be yourself 

Don’t try and be someone else

No, ooh, ooh, ooh

Just be yourself now

 

Obviously because of the work  I do, this kind of thing comes up in conversations at home quite a lot.  I work really hard to help my girls know that they are ok exactly as they are.  Even so, I still worry enormously that they might grow up with issues like so many of the girls and young women I see as clients.

Most of the time my clients issues come down to one main thing – their relationship with themselves.  So many of them really don’t like who they are, to say nothing of what they look like.  Many actively despise themselves.  They constantly compare themselves to others and (in their eyes) never quite achieve whatever it is they think they are supposed to achieve (‘perfection’, usually).  The ironic thing is that every single one of my clients is intelligent, special, and beautiful – perfect in her own unique way.

Getting them to recognise that, and learning to be ok with who they are is something I help them work towards.

Ella’s song, written with the innocence of a 7-year-old’s relatively limited experience of the world, gives me a tiny glimmer of optimism that all is not lost.  I hope she carries that belief with her as she goes through the different stages of growing up and takes it with her into her adult life.  I hope her sisters do too.

I’d love to hear your experiences of how and when you learned that it was ok to ‘be yourself’.  Feel free to leave them as a comment below or to email me directly at chloe@openmindhypnotherapy.co.uk.