I freely admit that I am a planner.  A detail person.  The organiser of the household.  Always have been, always will be.

Sometimes it’s important for me to remember that plans change.  And that that’s ok!

In June I announced that I would be working out of Harley Street on Thursday mornings as well as my usual Wednesdays.  I wasn’t 100% sure at the time that it was the best thing to do, but made the leap anyway because if I didn’t try, I’d never know.  Within a couple of weeks I knew it didn’t feel right, but I didn’t want to let clients down, didn’t want to admit that I’d mae a mistake, didn’t want to cause a problem for the lovely lady I rent my room from.

I decided to stick it out over the summer to see how I got on, to see if the demand really was there or if it was just a one-off flurry of enquiries.  It turns out the demand is definitely there.

However, there has been a change of plan.

I’ve come to realise that I was reacting to situations that were happening rather than actively creating the way in which I want to work.  Although working the extra day meant I could see more clients and help more people, it has cost me in terms of my family and my health.  I’ve been feeling stressed and overwhelmed and exhausted.  My husband recently got a promotion and that means he needs to be more flexible for his work rather than tied to certain days denoted by my schedule.  The girls want me at home more and I want to be at home more so I don’t miss those magical moments with them that I cherish, which will be gone before I know it as they seem to be growing up more and more every day.

I’ve always brought up my girls to speak their minds and be truthful.  The other day they shared with me, completely unprompted, some truths of their own.

“Mummy, you look really, really tired today” (Ella, studying my face carefully whilst waiting for me to check her wobbly teeth)

“Mummy, you have lots of lines on your forehead” (Mimi, gazing up at me and snuggling into me as I read her bedtime story)

“Mummy, I wish we could have more days where both you AND Daddy are home” (Lola, as I tucked her into bed)

I’ve been surviving on not enough sleep and too much sugar.

At the start of the year I wrote about my words for the year – bravery and balance.  I’m definitely out of balance at the moment, so I’m making (what I consider to be) the brave decision to say a gentle “no” to things that aren’t serving me or my family, and “yes” to re-balancing myself, my family life and my work life.

As a result, from November I will be returning back to only working on Wednesdays out of Harley Street, and will no longer be there on a Thursday.  It means that my waiting list may get a little longer, but my clients will have a better version of me working with them, my girls will have a better version of me parenting them, my husband will have a better version of me at home and I’ll feel like the better version of me that I know I’m capable of being.

I’m learning to get comfortable with plans changing.  Sometimes I get a little lost on the way, but as long as I return to my core values, the key things that are important to me, I know I’ll always find my way home.