I’ve been working exceptionally hard over the last few months.  And over the last couple of years there have been several significant-enough events in my life to cause even the most balanced and grounded person to wobble slightly.  I’ve been in desperate need of a week away – my body crying out for some sunlight and warmth, and my brain craving a break from all the thoughts that spin through it and around it at a consistent 90 miles an hour 24/7.  Most importantly I’ve been very aware recently that I needed to spend more vital quality time with my little family.

So last week we jetted off to Spain on holiday, and switched off.

I’ll be honest with you – the idea of not being able to connect with people or work for a whole week did make me feel more than slightly anxious.  I did pack the laptop, much to the disgust of my partner (*looks sheepishly at the floor*).  Well, with not much to do in the evenings after my girls were in bed I figured I could probably get a fair bit of work done. (I know, I know…)

I’m pleased to report that actually I didn’t do any work.  None at all.  I connected to Facebook very briefly on two occasions and I couldn’t access my work emails, so all the laptop ended up being used for was for the girls to watch a DVD or two during the hottest part of the day.

Instead we played on the beach,

 we swam in the pool, we read books and tackled crosswords,

we visited family that we haven’t seen for years, we wandered around a butterfly park open-mouthed in awe at the stunning array of colours and varieties of the creatures flitting freely around us, and we explored old towns and majestic castles. It was exactly what I needed.

There’s something about going on holiday that gives you fresh eyes and a new perspective about life.  Perhaps it’s because there are fewer distractions – there’s no tower of ironing to do, or stacks of washing up staring at you malevolently from the kitchen sink.  There aren’t crumbs on the sofa, or bills to pay, or nursery/school runs to do twice a day.  You are in a different environment, a different place (both physically and metaphorically).

Being in a different environment undoubtedly has a positive effect on your behaviour.  For one thing, you’re out of your regular routine and habits, doing things differently.  That can lead to different ways of thinking – you make different choices.  This last week I have rarely shouted, I relaxed more, and I worried significantly less about schedules and times and ‘rules’.  Perhaps being somewhere else reminds us that we have different capabilities to the ones we are used to using in our everyday lives?  Within minutes of arriving at our villa I almost instantaneously remembered that I do know how to be calm, how to be tolerant, how to be spontaneous, how to be brave – all things that in my ‘normal’ life I have a habit of forgetting I can do.

Have you ever had the experience of being on holiday and suddenly finding it easier to make a decision, or see the solution to a problem more clearly, or be able to feel differently about something that has been bothering you for some time?  Me too.  I find that when I’m on holiday I have more time and (perhaps more importantly) more headspace – to think, to feel, to see, and to listen to those parts of me that don’t usually get listened to.  My heart, my soul, my body.  If you are anything like me, you actually allow your mind to explore all those ideas you have that normally get squashed immediately and determinedly by your rational brain.

Everything seems possible on holiday.

You let yourself ask questions, examine the ‘what if’s…?’, dream big.  And dreaming is important – your dreams give you a direction.  And while you may not be able to instantly achieve it, when you get home you have a clearer idea of where you want to go with things, what things you want to be working on that will take you closer to where you want to be.  Dreaming makes you think about and assess your core values – those things that are important to you in your life.  If there is something really quite important to you that you feel is missing, my advice would be to go and do something about that.  And if you feel you can’t do something about it, well, what’s that about?  In all likelihood it’ll be down to a limiting belief that you hold about yourself: that you don’t deserve it, or aren’t good enough to achieve it, or aren’t worth it.  If you find that’s the case, go and get some therapy.

Holidays aren’t just a week away in the sun.  They’re so much more than that.  I think holidays can be soul-searching missions that help us (re)discover our true selves – who we are, what we want to do, what dreams we have, and how we are going to achieve them.

I’ve come home feeling full of energy and motivation to get back to work, to get back to life.  Even the incessant rain and the fact that I’m wearing my winter coat and boots at the end of May (!) hasn’t dampened my spirits (much).

The thing is, not everyone can afford to or is able to go away on holiday.  This week away was the first holiday we’ve been on in 3 and a half years.  Relying on a holiday to give you the space to do all of the stuff I’ve talked about above is a pretty ELOC place to be coming from.  The key is to create that time, that headspace, that different environment any time you want or need to.  Whether it’s taking an afternoon off and heading to a park, or re-decorating/re-arranging furniture at home, or putting down your ‘to-do’ list and focusing on yourself for an hour or so…go and do it.

It’s important.

Otherwise you’ll find yourself bumbling along doing what you’ve always done.  And we both know that doing what you’ve always done will only bring you what you’ve always had.

So whether your ‘holiday’ this year is real or imaginary, make the most of it.  You might just arrive home changed in ways that up until now seemed impossible to imagine.