I spent much of last year feeling indescribably sad and retreating into the deep dark cave of protection, whilst trying to maintain a mask of smiles and happiness and ‘coping’ on the outside.  I had to call on my 2015 words (Bravery and Balance) more times than I ever imagined I would when I set them as my theme for the year at the start of January.

A few days ago I wrote about choosing ‘follow my heart’ as my intention for 2016 and this post looks to dive a little deeper into that.  Because for me following my heart is going to require me call on an awful lot of resources.  It’s a new concept for me as I’ve spent so much of my life making sure that everyone else is ok at the expense of my own wellbeing and happiness, and seeking out other people’s approval rather than making choices based on MY values.  So there’s going to be a period of learning and adjustment.  It’s going to feel uncomfortable.  Bravery and balance are two examples of what I think I might need to draw on – to begin with at least – until following my heart starts to feel more natural and ‘normal’ than what has felt normal and right up until now.  I’m going to need to be brave to make decisions according to what my heart says when my head says to do the opposite, and I think that balance is going to be important too – if I don’t keep myself balanced physically, emotionally and mentally I’ll get overwhelmed and my thoughts will take over and then I’ll end up going in a direction that doesn’t feel good.  I guess in a way it’s a positive thing I got so much practice at them last year.

Ever since I decided to follow my heart I’ve been thinking about what else I’m going to need to help keep me focused as I go about my life of parenting my girls, working with my clients, spending time with family, nurturing my marriage and becoming more of the me I want to be.

In the end I didn’t have to think very hard – two words came straight to mind without any conscious effort at all.  They entered my head so forcefully and determinedly that I wasn’t even going to begin to question why, I simply knew that they were the ones.

And so 2016 is going to be my year of Love and Gratitude.

LOVE

Love is going to be essential in this 12-month quest of mine.  Love is going to need to be at the heart and soul of everything I choose to do this year.  Love goes hand in hand with growth and if I’m going to grow it needs to come from a place of love, not fear and protection.

So, to keep me focused, I’ve chosen to create and commit to a new photography project: Project Love.  At the end of every week, for a whole year, I will post a photo I have taken that, for me, represents love being shared.  It might be within my family.  It might be in the wider world.  I’ve been wanting to challenge myself further in my photography for a while now and I’ve been musing for months over different ideas that I’ve come up with but none have felt quite right.  Until this one.  It nestles comfortably next to Project Happy (where I take a photo every single day of a moment of happiness), and yet it feels different.  Deeper.

GRATITUDE

At the end of November I went for a therapy session of my own, with the aim of working towards letting go of the irritatingly persistent and ever-present “I’m not good enough” belief (but that’s a whole other blog post I’m yet to write).  The session was as eye-opening as every other session I’ve had with Trevor and I came away feeling lighter and more peaceful.  I still have work to do, but I am noticing little shifts and tiny-yet-monumental changes as the weeks pass.  Following the session Trevor gave me the task of writing down three things that I’m grateful for every single day.

(*Confession:  Even though I know how vital the work in between sessions is, I haven’t done it every day.  I’ve got a million reasons why and many of them are valid, but they’re also excuses.  If I want to change how I feel about myself, I need to do the work.  It’s that simple.)

So, after reading this post from a blogger I love to follow, I bought myself a Gratitude Journal so that I can really commit myself to this task and have somewhere dedicated for writing down my daily moments of gratitude (as opposed to hastily making a note on my phone late at night as I set my alarm for 5.30am the following morning, or scrambling about in a drawer for a scrap of paper and a biro before I head up to bed).  Plus, look – it’s so pretty!

So for those of you who have set intentions of your own this year – whether you’re clients of mine, regular readers of this blog, or maybe just loyal friends (love you!) who choose to play along – have a think about what resources you might need to call upon to help you stay on track with your intention.  What do you need to remain focused on to help you get to where you want to be this time next year?

As always, I’d love to hear from you, so please do feel free to leave your comments below.

Thanks for reading 🙂